Everything is a Remix now sustainably fueled by disappointment and resentment
April 3, 2023
Howdy folks!
I’ll start by saying: I don’t think of myself as a douchebag, but I kind of am. I’m a big fan of me.
Also, I don’t think of myself as a resentful person, but I kind of am. I find my lack of popularity infuriating and stupid. I think I’m hot shit and the world hasn’t rewarded me amply enough.
In this unusually long message I’m gonna let these little demons out for some air. Skip this email if you prefer to think of me as a sweetie pie — which I kind of am too.
I’m gonna talk about my career history for a while. Get comfy!
I’ve never been much of a planner. I became a graphic designer in my twenties because I designed the student newspaper in university and learned desktop publishing software. In my spare time I published zines and early websites.
In my thirties I got into video because it was fun and I wanted to be funny. Over time, this shifted to wanting to make good stuff, pursue interesting ideas and even have revelations and share them.
During this whole first phase, financial viability wasn’t given much consideration and I relied on tolerable day jobs to pay the bills. My creative pursuits were passionate hobbies, but I guess I figured if I made something good enough or popular enough – and ideally both – then the money would follow and somehow that would become a career.
Somehow this happened.
Not the original Everything is a Remix, but actually a little bit better, the 2015 minor update
In 2010 the first part of Everything is a Remix popped on Vimeo. At the time, Vimeo was like the thinking person’s YouTube. (Where is my Vimeo channel now? Humblebrag: it was taken down for consuming too much bandwidth!)
The initial success was actually smaller than my current successes but it felt massive at the time. There was a clear spark and it rapidly grew from there. The second part went truly viral and I was off to the races for the next few years. I made a risky move and quit my day job. Shockingly, I made a living without one. I mostly earned income through public speaking, which absolutely terrified me, but through practice I got pretty good at it (though the nerves never subsided).
In 2012 I spoke at TED, a pinnacle achievement in the ideas culture of the era (and still a big deal). That talk has been seen a couple millions times. I spoke at SXSW, Google, Netflix, YouTube, Hulu, NYU, Columbia, and lots of other fancy places. I was doing talks every month. I found myself all over the US, a country that was still new to me, having moved from Canada a few years earlier. I traveled to Mexico, Chile, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, and the UK, including Scotland, Northern England, and Ireland, which is where my ancestors emigrated to Canada from. Freelance video opportunities followed, including several Google projects.
2012 was the peak of the Everything is a Remix project and my career. I've had various smaller successes since then, but my career as an internet filmmaker has been in slow decline ever since.
After Everything is a Remix I started a new series in a similar paradigm, the paid series This is Not a Conspiracy Theory. Somewhere in the back of mind, I was thinking that after a success, you take a big swing on a more experimental thing. This was what the bands I admired did (think Radiohead after OK Computer), so that’s what I did.
Episode One of This is Not a Conspiracy Theory
I intentionally made This is Not a Conspiracy Theory extremely difficult. I wanted to red-line my research, writing, and production. I even scored much of the series myself–and no, I’m not a musician. I tried to make it really difficult, and mission accomplished, it was. The series took eight years to complete. Because it launched on KickStarter at the end of Everything is a Remix, plenty of people paid me up front sight unseen and were waiting for the better part of a decade as episodes were slowly released. It took me years to get through the accompanying guilt.
The timing of the series turned out to be impeccable. This is Not a Conspiracy Theory was completed just as conspiracy culture went totally mainstream in the Trump years. And here I was with a painstakingly researched, well-articulated antidote, something I felt could move the needle on the conversation. But it was essentially an art project. I was aiming to make the most challenging and interesting thing I could. Its audience remained small and it didn’t lead to much. I only did a single speaking event, which I really got because I was the Everything is a Remix guy. And in an especially cruel twist, a promising distribution deal vanished just as contracts were about to be signed because Amazon suddenly stopped carrying small independent docs on Prime Video. I think they made this decision because of a deluge of bullshit conspiracy docs.
This is Not a Conspiracy Theory certainly had successes. Its YouTube offshoots – The Return of Magic and Constantly Wrong – lead to a series of videos with The New York Times. And the project had a decently successful launch and went on to sell almost 10 thousand units, which, I mean, who gets that with a self-distributed documentary? But those sales happened over eight years, and most of them came at the start.
Now, I fully realize that selling many thousands of downloads of a doc and working with The New York Times is the kind of success many dream of. If I’d done this in 2010, I’d have been elated. But trajectory is everything, and at this stage of my career, this was, in sum, a failure. I needed to reverse the trend.
The new version of Everything is a Remix Part 1 (2021)
After being immersed for years in the sad, scary world of conspiracy theories, it had to be something lighter, more optimistic and more fun. Everything is a Remix remained my most popular video but it was also quite out of date and the filmmaking and storytelling felt rudimentary. I thought it needed a near total overhaul, so I decided to reboot it and do it again. I was trying to give people what they want, but it wasn’t a chore. I still love Everything is a Remix and I was able to fully connect with the material again. It was a joyful experience.
But the reboot of Everything is a Remix turned out to be a similar sort of failure to This is Not a Conspiracy Theory. (Or so it appears right now. It could explode tomorrow, who knows?) Part 1 was decently successful, but Parts 2 and especially 3, both of which I worked hard on and am proud of, were flops. I re-watched them while making Part 4 and honestly, I just found it heartbreaking that so few people watched them. (Needless to say, this does not apply to you, avid fan. You are one of the superior people, both in intellect and physical beauty. Reading this far is further demonstration of your excellence.)
Then this happened in 2021
Midway through production of the new Everything is a Remix, my son, Kirby Ferguson Ryan, was born. It took Nora and me many, many years to conceive, but once we did, the pregnancy was smooth and absolutely joyous. A new chapter in my life opened, my worldview shifted, fatherly clichés were typed. I’d been thinking of changing my career for years, but with the birth of my son it was set in stone. I had to do be a better provider. Everything is a Remix started my internet filmmaker career… and it would end it.
The all new Everything is a Remix Part 4, which is entirely different from the original version
The series ended with a bang. Everything is a Remix Part 4, also known as Artificial Creativity, matched the views of the first part and was incredibly well-received. I was especially pleased that Melanie Mitchell liked it and shared it. As a friend described her, she is one of the few non-crazy people on this topic and I was heavily influenced by her book.
(Small tangent here while I brag. Everything is a Remix was completed just as AI and image generation were exploding. Even though it mostly doesn’t amount to much, the timing on my big swings has been spectacularly good.)
But similar to everything I’ve done since 2012, Everything is a Remix Part 4 failed to achieve escape velocity. Artificial Creativity was – and is – the best I can do. I left it all on the floor. It brought a couple awesome projects to me, but it's not been game-changing.
And that, my friends, brings us up to the present.
There's no other way to put it: this is a disappointing end. This exit is tinged with resentment, or maybe marinated in it. And right now, I’m going to let that feeling have the floor. I liked doing what I was doing and would have kept doing it if I’d had more success. And yes, I am painfully aware that plenty about my fate after Everything is a Remix is my fault.
I know this is a spoiled perspective. Thousands of people love me, I made a beloved and influential piece of internet culture, and my retirement has been met with over a hundred sincere expressions of gratitude. I’ve read every one of them and was moved by them all. I’ll be sharing some of these messages and honoring them in the months ahead. But right now, bitterness occupies me more than gratitude. As the kids say, I’m not gonna lie.
The Kirby of 2010 might find my attitude here ungrateful and annoying. But his trajectory was upward. Mine is downward and that makes all the difference. For now, fuck this stupid culture.
I don’t intend to let this bitterness win. I don’t intend to lug it around for the rest of my life. I’m letting it out here in hopes that it’ll start fading.
And y’know what? I think it is.
If this message sounds dark, I actually don’t feel dark. This is a single thread within my life. It’s an important one but it’s no longer that important. Right now is a golden era in my life. Having a child is the most joy I’ve had since being a child myself.
My intent here is to start processing my disappointment and developing gratitude. I know that feeling pride and fulfillment over this period is actually the more rational take.
Even though my exit wasn’t what I wanted, I do think it’s for the best. It’s time to transition to a new role and explore new realms.
So. What’s next? I don’t have the answer. But I’m going to move towards one and I’ll start talking about it next time. In the meantime, if anybody wants to talk opportunities, get in touch.
Till next time, enjoy every sandwich.
Kirby